My Healing walk with Reiki & Anxiety. In 1993, because of an abusive marriage, I was diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I suffered daily with anxiety so intense that I was borderline agoraphobic. The physical, mental, and spiritual abuse I suffered had left me in victim mode. I felt that I
had no voice. I was afraid to leave the safety of my home. Medications intended to relieve the anxiety I could never escape put me in a fog. I knew there just had to be tools
available to help me that didn’t leave me wandering in hazy confusion.
In my search for healing, I came to realize that I had been developing a relationship with anxiety for over 25 years. I felt that over that length of time, the relationship had evolved well beyond the root source cause. I was also well aware that after 25 years, healing would be a long
process. For me to connect with myself more deeply and to begin my process of better health, I wanted to under- stand the underlying energetic patterns with my anxiety. I knew I needed to understand my unique version of anx- iety to let go of long-standing patterns that were holding me back.
I have understood energetic patterns since I was very young. Reading is a challenge for me because of a learning disability, so I have always learned best by tuning into in- formation on an energetic level. I can feel and see energetic patterns, and this helps me to understand what I am trying to learn. I remember sitting right in front of the instructor in my college organic chemistry class so I could be present and focused on his energy as he taught—literally perceiving the energy of his words! Just being present and focused on the information and his delivery of it helped me to under-
stand the content better and pass the tests. It only makes sense that the Universe would guide me to an experiential learning method for my healing.
Establishing Faith in Myself
My first connection with Reiki, a harmonizing frequen- cy that is channeled by one person to another as an ener- getic form of healing, was in 2013. As part of my journey to relieve my anxiety, I tried a Reiki healing session. It was such a positive experience that two weeks later, I took a Reiki class to learn more!
In that very first Reiki class, I received a Reiki attune- ment, which the instructor gave to provide the students in the class with the connection to the Reiki energy. After receiving my Reiki attunement, I felt guided by the energy to teach Reiki. My first thought was, “Who? Me? But I’m agoraphobic!” Despite my doubts, I somehow knew that Reiki would shower its light over me and support me with everything I needed to be successful. What surprised me was recognizing that I had decided to move forward despite the doubts and truly believed that I would have the courage and strength to begin this journey.
In my classes, I learned through Reiki that each per- son’s energetic field is a beautiful array of layers that perceives many things. Remembering that we are all con- nected and that everything comes from the same creative force, the energetic field around each person is a filter for energy, information, and emotions that arise weekly, dai- ly, and hourly. As we receive information, we each ap- ply our perspective to the information, which may cause many individual responses or emotions. Different people may react differently to the same piece of information.
Reiki source amplified my knowing. I continued to work based on their attitude and life experiences. They may on my healing, but no matter the focus at the time, I saw then hold that emotion in their energetic field based on the patterns of my harmonious walk. It was like a domino their reaction to it. All of that information and the at- effect—depression left as joy filled my life, and I slowly lost attached emotions can sometimes clog our filter! If a large
my attachment to the old patterns that no longer served amount of powerful emotional energy stays in a partic- me. As my faith and trust became stronger within, I began ular area, noticeable symptoms may manifest.
to sparkle! Through the next years, I worked on the anxi- harmonize and synchronize those energies, so the infor- ety and developed my skills so I could be my very best as a mation processes more gently. If we are open to receiving
Reiki guide for my students. that information, Reiki has many lessons for us. My first lesson was to find my faith in myself. After that
See the Joy in Everything initial Reiki workshop, I applied what I had learned. I no-
I felt joy. Everyone thought of me as one of the most joy- ticed the many healing experiences and opportunities for
ful people they knew! I argued with myself that I knew what personal growth presented themselves to me. I decided to
joy was, and I thought I was more joyous than most people put my “warrior” hat on and dove into them with all my
I knew. What did I have to discover in learning about joy? faith. Through these experiences, I transformed into my
To learn all the aspects of the emotion of joy, I spent over a true self. Once I recognized and understood the shifts hap-
year in prayer and action. Without my connection to Reiki, pening in my life, I became more positive. I gained a better
I would have never considered what I now recognize as my understanding of myself and found my voice! Best of all,
various perceptions of joy. I realized it is always possible to I realized I was a great communicator. As I embraced the
look deeper, even if our minds think we can’t! gentle results in my life and developed a more positive out-
While there are several examples, the memory of the re- look, I found not only faith in myself but also faith in my
alization of one particular perspective of joy is strong. I felt ability to understand and manage those things in the world
guided to spend eight hours doing hard labor in my gardens around me I could not control.
to learn joy. My body was aching, and I was not in the frame of mind to accept joy even though I love gardening.
Forgiveness Led to Greater Trust
Only when I experienced the blissful moments of beautiful. The Reiki energy assigned the next lesson in my heartful connections with the Earth, could I temporarily forgetting journey. Reiki told me, Forgive yourself, and you will develop a deeper trust with yourself.
After the required eight deeper trust within. This guidance caused me great confusion hours, I went inside to wash up and then returned outside. because I already knew that my faith in myself had grown.The weather was perfect, and my yard was beautiful. As stronger. Then I realized that in my past abusive relation-
I looked around, I felt the joy so intensely that I cried. I ship, I was a victim. Now I needed to forgive myself for ac couldn’t hold back the tears! I now understood a new precepting that victim role. By just understanding and acknowl- ception of joy in its purest form. edging that I was no longer that victimized person, my light shone brighter. A result of my self-forgiveness was the ability
Your Journey with Passion Will Be to decide more confidently, and this felt wonderful!
Promising—Follow Your Heart
Developing this deep trust within, I realized how beautiful. After working with Reiki for some time, the guidance and beautiful we all truly are, and I felt empowered to offer sacred lessons became strong enough that I could not ignore them; I space for others on their healing journeys. This awareness must allow myself to embrace passion fully. brought great joy to my heart. Realizing I could share this One day, soon after I received this guidance, I was walk- faith, this trust, this healing with others in our world, made ing outside in my beautiful yard. As I approached my fam- a significant impact on my life. I wondered if this could ily working in the garden, my seven-year-old son ran up be what a person feels when they align with their destiny. to me and handed me a stone. He said, “Mommy, this is This feeling was a fantastic thought for someone who once what Daddy just dug up from the yard, and he gave this thought they had no voice! to YOU!” As I opened my hand to look at the stone, I saw Less than a year had passed since my first connection that the word “Passion” carved into the surface. What a with the Reiki source, yet I knew, without a doubt, that I delightful path I’m on. I continue on my journey, awaiting would teach Reiki. With each prayer to the heavens, the guidance for the next step.
As I began walking with Reiki, I noticed myself viewing it like it was a gym membership. I had it, and I knew it was a great tool with which to work in my life, but in all honesty, I wasn’t showing up every day at the “gym.” As a Reiki stu- dent, you are to give yourself daily treatments as a way for you to exercise that “muscle.” I didn’t understand the im- portance of it as I finished the class. Still, several months lat- er, Reiki guided me to understand the importance of taking time for myself when I received a diagnosis of diverticulitis, a painful intestinal inflammation.
We had just moved to Wisconsin, and I didn’t have any local support other than my immediate family, but I had a tool—Reiki! In the times between the bouts of pain, I prayed for help and gave myself Reiki. I would place my hands directly on my body in different positions and started feeling the Reiki penetrating heat throughout my whole being. I felt great relief, and this showed me how essential a daily self-Reiki treatment is for continued health. This daily practice now helps to keep me balanced and healthy.
n establishing an ongoing regimen of daily self-treatments, which I enjoyed so much, I was developing a deeper connection with Reiki with each session. When my mind was quiet, I knew many of the concerns I had before I found Reiki had changed. I wasn’t nervous during the day. I left the house more often and enjoyed myself. I learned to trust in myself and my future. My victim’s past healed, never to haunt me again.
When we juggle so many things, for so many people, we often forget those golden moments that we need to develop a more profound sense of connection with ourselves. But they are patiently waiting there for you to experience if only you’ll look for and focus on them. Maybe you’ll feel the results of a deeper love for yourself or more trust in your intuition. Per- haps the busy mind will relax and listen to the heart a little more. That happens to me. My mind slows down, and I listen to the rhythm of my heart, and the wisdom shared with me each morning as I perform Reiki on myself.
My walk with Reiki has had its challenges and triumphs as I partnered with it to work on my anxiety, and more impor- tantly, my relationship with me. Your relationship with Reiki
will not be the same as mine—it is your own. I hope that in my story, some common threads can guide you to find what you need. I hope it inspires your light to grow and develop within you. The most significant realization on my walk is that we are always cared for and deeply loved. My responsibility was to be willing to open up and invite in the Reiki source.
Reiki guides us, and its frequency is incredibly nurturing. When I need anything—refueling, recharging, regenerating— if I reach out for the guidance, I am gently given the under- standing of how to provide this for myself. As my relation- ship has developed with the Reiki source, so has my connec- tion with me. I have unlocked more possibilities than I ever imagined possible. I have been able to create a more profound sense of trust and love with my whole being. My physical, emotional, and spiritual layers have softened and let go of what no longer serves me. I have learned faith, trust, joy, pas- sion, love, courage, strength, focus, compassion, security, and I rediscovered my voice. Hallelujah!
Since childhood, I’ve always been driven by my heart to reach out to others. Some call it being an empath. I believe we all hold these unique attributes, and some are just more open than others. That’s why I believe wholeheartedly that anyone can learn Reiki. Being a Reiki practitioner does not guarantee you will have a perfect life. My life is not perfect, but Reiki helps harmonize what transpires in my energetic field to allow me to live my best life.
Reiki opened me up so I could develop a connection to all parts of my being, allowing me to proceed with my life and my destiny in a brighter light. I’m not 100 percent free of the anx- iety, but I’m walking my healing path, and it feels awesome! I see the light; I am the light; I sparkle with joy and love! 1
Kathy is an ICRT Licensed Reiki Master Teacher of Usui/Holy Fire® III Reiki and is a registered Holy Fire® III Karuna Reiki® Master Teacher. Her studies have included Jikiden Reiki® Okuden, All Love- Sekhem/Seichim Reiki, and she is a Holographic Sound Practitioner, Akashic Records Reader, works with crystal grids and enjoys Earth studies and other healing modali- ties. Kathy specializes in children, animals, and illnesses, offering in- dividual and group events at her beautiful studio, and other locations. You may reach her at firstname.lastname@example.org.